Heatwaves are mince

At the moment, the west of Scotland is in the midst of a heatwave. For the last week, the temperature has been consistently above 20 degrees Celsius with lots of sunshine and cloudless days. I find the heat difficult to cope with. My brain tends to get frazzled very easily anyway but it only gets worse in the warmer weather. I absolutely despise sweating too and because I tend to walk fast, I tend to sweat fairly frequently, even when it is a lot cooler than this, which means I get more uncomfortable, hot and crabbit quicker. Plus I have hay fever and it has meant that the last few weeks have resulted in my nose getting all clogged up, my eyes being itchy and just a general sleepiness. To put it bluntly, heatwaves are mince.

Ironically, I was born in the summer but I am really not a fan. Thankfully the Scottish climate isn’t overly enamoured either with heatwaves like this one fairly rare. When we moved here three years ago, it was in the middle of a heatwave. I always remember not long after we came and I had two interviews in the same day. And it was absolutely roasting. I was in my suit and ended up coming home to have a cold shower before doing it all over again. Two years ago, when we moved to the house we are in now, guess what, heatwave. I grew up in East Lothian where we had sun but it tended to be accompanied by the wind, keeping things a lot cooler. Here in the big city, it just isn’t happening. Indeed here weather like this is referred to as ‘taps aff’ weather, though in many cases the expanses of flesh on show you would rather miss, in all honesty. You will be glad to hear that no sum of money would convince me to go ‘taps aff’ in public and humanity should be grateful for that.

The summer does have its compensations. I am writing this sentence at about 10.40 on 5th June and there is still some light in the sky. Daylight until late suits me just smashing, especially when I am day tripping. Also, more castles and historic places are open this time of year so I can plan to get out more. Preferably on a day when it is sunny but about 17-18 degrees, not too hot, not too cold. T-shirt weather, in other words.

I know I am in a minority. I have had a few conversations with otherwise perfectly sensible people who are also sun worshippers and in turn think I’m nuts. Whatever makes their day. While I don’t like the heat, I still need to be practical. I have worn shorts for most of the last few days, doing my very best not to give the tiniest hoot if people are looking at my legs. Plus I have even opened my room window to keep the place cool, even while I can hear more of my neighbours’ barbecues or noise from the motorway or the trains. Apparently, when I was out yesterday, some of my neighbours were playing the class Proclaimers song ‘Let’s Get Married’, including the immortal line:

‘You can get a cat as long as it barks.’

All is quiet now but it is Sunday night, after all. I have had a quiet day in, looking at the weather out the window, not getting irritated or too clogged up. Tomorrow I will need to go out and be in the world, back in my shorts and wishing for rain.

 

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